February 19, 2006

• Wit With Wisdom Wins Word Wars

  (Our clashing foes of good and evil have been brawling for close to 30 minutes.  Both are grabbing all the air they can find, when finally the villain pins the hero to the wall with a lighting-fast barrage of non-mechanical pencils.  The two stop fighting to exchange words.)

  Villain: A ha! You misunderstimate my powers!

  Hero:  Misunderestimate? That’s not a word.

  Villain:  How dare you challenge the validity of my grammar!

  Hero:  It’s not a grammatical challenge.  It’s more like a Scrabble word challenge.

  Villain:  You can’t make the word ‘misundestimate’ in scrabble, it has too many letters!

  Hero.  Someone could have done ‘mate’, then ‘estimate’, then ‘underestimate’, but if you then make it ‘misunderestimate’, well that’s just wrong.

  Villain:  Without a dictionary your challenge is not valid!

  Hero:  Daniel Webster would not have given your atrocious attempt at constructing words any mercy!  Rather, he would have beaten you relentlessly with sticks and stones on the spot!

  Villain:  Sticks and stones?  Daniel Webster wrote the dictionary.  I thought his super power was insulting people using extremely long words.

  Hero:  It was.  Then he found out they couldn’t hurt anybody.  So he switched to sticks and stones. 

  Villain:  Mmmm.  I failed Super Hero History Class…

  Hero:  And apparently English too.

  Villain:  You’ve gone too far!

  Hero:  Let’s settle this.

  Villain:  Battle?

  Hero:  A Scrabble battle, to be precise.

  Villain:  Perfect.  Prepare to be disextroyed!

  Hero: (Under breath)  We’re going to need a dictionary…

  END.

  • 12:19 am
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