June 24, 2006
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Began to doubt me, did you? Ah, but I post yet again! I have a xanga heart, there is nothing I can do about it.
After 20 or so minutes of meandering up and down the Kroger aisles Alex raised his voice at me, “Phil, you still haven’t asked where the toothpicks are?!”
“I’ll find them, ok!” I responded in a sort of weird, prideful way, as if no store could so cleverly choose a spot to place their toothpicks that I couldn’t find.
Then suddenly! From 10 feet away, An eavesdropping employee robotically said like an automated voice, “Toothpicks? Aisle 6. Left-hand side.”
It was painful. A part of me wanted to say, “I can find the toothpicks, thank you very much.” and the other side of me was reasoning, “Dude, it’s toothpicks. Let it go.”
Anyways, we found the toothpicks, and bought a 750-pack. To me, 750 is a number the toothpick company made up to put on the box because they realize there’s no way we’re going to count them. They could write 1000 toothpicks, 5000 toothpicks, or 10 million toothpicks, because they know there’s no way anyone is going to count them all to call the toothpick company out on it. When you open up a box a toothpick the only thing you think is, “Wow, that’s a whole bunch of toothpicks.” You look on the box, see a big number, and think, “Five million toothpicks? Yeah, that makes sense.”
Believe it or not, I’d predict Americans are getting scammed out of a couple hundred toothpicks per box. But like I said, no way I’m gonna be the one to count ’em.
Ever see the TV show Touched By An Angel? Well, this is my account of Scarred By A TV Show. When I was about 8 years old I saw an episode where a man in his shop answers the telephone. He keeps on saying, “Hello? Hello?”, but no one was there. Two seconds later, a bomb blows the entire building up. No joke, every single time I answer the phone and there is no one on the other line I have instant thoughts telling me my house is about to explode.
Yes, yes. It is all fine and well. I saw the movie “Harvey” starring James Stewart with Rachel and I thought it was fantastic.
I’m trying to figure out technology still, come back soon and maybe I’ll have the pictures of the marshmellow and toothpick fortresses up on here. I am hopeful and doubtful all at once about being able to get the pictures up.
This night is finite, so why not have a fine night?
Comments (6)
don’t forget the one i made. “over my head” with a tennis ball on top of it. and how’s the riddle thing coming? i am still thinking about that riddle.
I have to hand it to you phil, you have yet to disappoint with your xanga entries. They always work out to be very entertaining. YAY!!
Phil, they way goes good. Are you still running? If yes, we should go running together sometime. We are probably of the same speed.
-Jeremy a.k.a. JGro
nice post! The Chicago Tribune called it “Thought-provoking. Whimsical.” “I loved every line of it!” Said James Kent of the New York Times. Toothpicks. Who would have thought reading about them would be amusing? well done.
You know what’s funny? Whenever I need soemthing at a store I ask right away, by not doing that when we went for toothpicks, I came out of there with two energy drinks and a bag of Skittles. Ridiculous.
Good post Phil.
Hah. This is great. I’ve decided to enjoy your posts.
Are you pleased? I hope so.
^_^
-Lynn