Driving is like another world.  If driving is another world, then the regular world is just walking around in my human body.  While walking around in this body, I am an agent and I interact with the other human agents, and that is the entire paradigm for the initial world. 

However, driving presents itself as an entirely different reality.  The basis of agents has changed.  Cars are now the main agents with which I interact, although now it is not me interacting, but my car. 

This idea of a mode of interaction existing on a personal earth that is utterly impersonal and unrelated to the life the creatures are living fascinates me.  Life is this amazing experience in which we receive a body, and while in it we feel extraordinary emotions and see wonderful sights.  No matter which human it is, at its last breath, the human body has just encountered something quite incredible.

But then there is driving.  Driving is where the personal, incredible creature climbs into a metal machine that transports them elsewhere.  The person leaves the nondriving state and enters the driving state.  In the driving state, life is left behind.  Once out of the car again, the person enters back into the human-based interaction world.  Thus, driving is like a place that is inbetween life and its normal variables.  It's the one place where you are interacting with humans, that you actually aren't interacting with humans.

While cruising I'll see faces in other cars blurrily whirring past me.  All these lives I don't know passing by just meters away, and yet I don't know them.  These are the same people I see in the paper, or hear on the radio, or that voted in elections, or were part of a statistic, or were sitting by me in the movie theater.  Since America is often referred to a whole, I often think about how that doesn't make any sense because no person is America, nor is America gathered anywhere concomittantly.  But if there is one place where America is always most present, it is on the roads.

And this is what fascinates me: in the midst of all these personal ideas, such as all the elements I mentioned above that I encounter in my time in this world, such as reading the paper, or voting, or all those ideas, is a realm where it all disappears.  It's just driving.  You cannot talk to the other people, only honk.  As a personal being, a human, I take on an impersonal body, a car, and stay in that impersonal state until I reach my destination. 

All the people I am always thinking about, distant people that have likewise been thrust into this odd existence, silently make their appearance on the roads.  My home is where my individual existence is emphasized, the roads is where the world's existence is emphasized.  Wonder overtakes my mind in thinking about the people traveling to many different places and living many different lives.  Sometimes I'll see a car make a turn and imagine following it with my imagination and being that person going somewhere else, thinking other things, living another life.  It's extremely weird to think that someone is not me and also doesn't even know I exist.  I have loud thoughts, experience overwhelming emotions, have many complex and intricate relationships, and exist in this body in an unbroken continuation of time, and they don't even know about it?! 

Driving to me is all about experiencing wonder.  Sitting at a traffic light I will start looking around and thinking: "Maybe I'd like that person."  "How is that guy's life going?"  "Where's she going in such a hurry?" 

But I'll never know.  Driving is just driving and there's nothing more to it.   This strange dichotomy exists between the life I know, and what things are like while I'm driving. 

Driving actually makes me think about different worldviews.  Because of the neurological basis for our existence, some people think humans are just machines, and that is all.  That would make humans pretty comparable to cars: A car has an engine, a human has a brain.  If the engine dies, the car dies.  If the brain dies, the human dies.  But I think the driver is a great analogy for the soul.  Sure the car is a machine and sure humans are biological creations, but beyond that is a very personal idea steering it all.   A human body does have programmed functions, but cars as just engines don't work.  Cars are not just following predetermined routes like trollies on tracks, but humans actually control them.  Similarly, humans are not just numbers in an equation, but are directed by a force much more personal than an engine. 

Cars are more than engines, they have drivers.  Humans are more than brains, they have souls.  If we had no souls, I would expect a very different world.  I would expect a world like driving.  Living life without a soul is like driving in traffic.  Just cars on roads, nothing inside them, just following the law and driving and driving and driving.    

By the way, that's not an argument.  Just a way of looking at things.  You either have a soul, or are an equation.  Not to speak for you, but I feel a taint of irony when I ask myself, "Am I an equation?" 

Happy Driving.

For all science claims to know, what knowledge of my soul does is possess?  Bare and exposed, what does my soul look like?  It is unavoidable that when I am in the presence of another human I will realize it and think about it.  Their presence affects me by attracting my focus and attention.  But alone is where I really am.  In a room of blackness, all that is there is my thoughts, and the resting touch of my hands against my body.  But it is my thoughts that are loud, active and alive,  showing me myself.  Stripped of all other objects, sights, and things, what am I?  All alone, who am I?  Who are you, Lord?  Are these loud thoughts only here in my mind so that I may have a way of knowing you?  What other purpose would they serve?  To argue and confuse to no particular end, until they have washed up dry and empty; full of evanescent substance, like sand in clenched fists.  How could my soul have no home, no meaning, no real life?  For the very nature of this thing called the soul is that it is the deepest desire of who I am.  Thus, it is an entity that demonstrates care for life, and if I naturally did not care about life, then I would think that it does not mean anything.  But my soul cares deeply for life!  It yearns for a better state of things and mourns for the lost moments in time.  Effervescent and undying in potent commands, it does not relay to me a concept of life as trivial and indifferent.  If I were a creature with no life inside him, no rioting soul to steer me towards meaning, I would act as such, and live a humdrum life and then die.  If my soul was dead, you would see it in my eyes.  But this is not the situation I find myself in.  And what else is there to follow?  The soul is what makes a man discontent to simply obey society and its precepts.  The soul shouts louder than any critic, for the soul is honest, but who knows of the honesty of a critic?  Who is there to trust?  Besides, the critic does not journey with you, to know the path he critiques, but scoffs at a glance, the slight image he receives of me.  He must be dishonest, for he is a critic of the unknown, which is the soul.  For who knows the soul but you, Lord?  Thus, my life is hidden with you.

I'm Gonna Freaking Kill You

My generation without a doubt is the most sarcastic generation of all time.  If the last generation was Generation X, then we are Generation Xaggeration.  Indeed, most kids come home from school today without having engaged in much meaningful conversation at all. 

As my friend Kris puts it, "I exaggerate about 10,000 times per day."  Sarcasm has become the new language almost, with explanation of the most nugatory activity now demanding drastic verbal embellishment.  "I'm hungry" has become "Guys, if I don't eat within 5 minutes, I'll die."  "I watch that TV show too" has become "OMG, that is the greatest television show ever."  Instead of not laughing at a joke, it's now, "That is without a doubt the worst joke I have ever heard."  And on and on and on. 

It's actually a mixture of sarcasm and exaggeration.  As an exaggeration, many high schoolers will readily apply the label "The Best Thing Ever" to anything that has just been mentioned that they happen to approve of.  Whether it be snowboarding, iPods, Wendy's value menu, or a rock concert, if a high schooler hears something in conversation they like, it is likely to be immediately brandished with a tag of infinite value. 

Of course, sarcasm is a form of exagerration, but still different.  Sarcasm does not represent reality in almost any way.  What I'm thinking of here is allusions to death and/or dying. "My day was terrible, I want to kill myself" is not exactly an exaggeration, but still sarcasm.  This person of course is upset or exhausted, but I doubt is seriously entertaining the thought of suicide.  "I think that the school dug this food out of the ground outside the school and is now feeding it to us," is also in no way representative of reality. 

Saying "I hate you" sarcastically is a frequent occurence too. 

Stu: Hey Fred, what did you get on your test?
Fred:  I got a 98%.
Stu:  I hate you!!

Nowadays, it would take a dramatic monologue to actually convince a person that you hate them. 

It would be a real problem if an alien visited from planet Literal, and hid in the body of a high schooler.  If a person does not speak in sarcasm, or does not understand it, their entire world of communication in high school would break down.

Sue:  Oh, math class was awful!  I think a part of my brain died during the lecture.
Ellen:  WHAT?!  Hurry, to the nurse's office!

Matt:  Ugh, I am so upset right now, I'm gonna go home and kill myself.
Dan:  Matt! Don't worry man, we can get you help. Uh, just stay with me today, okay?
Matt:  Um, okay. 

At the end of the day, the high schooler must understand the world they live in to know what happened and everything that was meant.  If the high schooler does not get all the sarcasm, it could mean their death.  Seriously, I'm not even joking.  Like, they could die. 

This widespread assault on speaking with objective meaning I do actually believe has consequences.  Stephen Colbert, the pope of sarcasm, does not let his children watch his television program.  He justifies this by saying that if they watched his program and then before tucking them in at night he said, "I love you," they might start reacting, "Ahh, good one, dad!"  It is hard to turn on and off an entire way of speaking.  If sarcasm is the norm, how do we know when to shut it down and be serious?  If we are sarcastic a majority of the time, does that not erode all meaning in our lives?  Sarcasm may be a medium that can communicate certain ideas that otherwise cannot be communicated, but someday, if we really want to tell someone what we really think, we'll have to ditch the sarcasm.  Deep down, I don't think people are sarcastic.  Is there anyone who prays in sarcasm?  "Dear God, thank you so much for protecting my life today.  I cannot believe the recliner kicked out without me even pushing the button!"  I don't think many last words are sarcastic either.  "I only wish I had lived to see Pirates of the Carribean 3..." 

Anyways, this post has been longer than time itself, so I'm out. 

Hey guys.  How's the internet treating ya? 

There is a truly baffling concept that I see prevalently accepted among, well, everyone but me.  Sometimes I can see another person's side to something and think, "Well, I see how you can think that," but this has really blown my mind over and over again.  This is what has never made sense to me, and never will:  watching scary movies.  I first need to clarify the difference of the word scary when it is put before the word movie than how it is meant everywhere else.  When before the word movie, scary does not refer to being scared of injury (heights, flying), of others being hurt (Mom, I'm going hunting!), or the sensation of being startled (Boo!).  Rather, most scary movies appeal to the sensation of being scared of a freakish reality being painted right before you eyes, sometimes spiritual, sometimes not.  To me, watching these movies is intolerable.  My mind simply cannot escape the reality the movie is presenting and understand that it is not real, but rather it completely accepts whatever is put right before it as true and existent in the very room I am in. 

I am so freaked out by scary movies that I have only seen one, and no one else I know even thinks it qualifies as a scary movie.  They think it was a joke, a crappy movie that couldn't scare a cat.  The movie was Signs, and I saw it in a nearly empty theatre.  I couldn't even watch.  I just put my head down and listened to the soundtrack, that still had just as every bit the same effect as did watching the screen.  I had never seen a movie like it before and I was so freaked out by it I slept on the floor in my parent's bedroom for weeks.  Since watching Signs I concluded that scary movies are something that people just have to get used to, and it would take a few more until I could tolerate them.  However, without having tried to see another scary movie, I have learned that this is not at all the case.  Somehow, someway, my brain actually cannot tolerate the fear that comes from watching these movies.  As I watch them I accept them as completely true, and do not even realize the people around me are my friends.  And to me, fear is a negative thing.  This is what I do not understand.  If fear is negative, and these movies induce fear, why would anyone want to go see them?  Once I was on the computer browsing around on the internet while some other people in the room were watching The Butterfly Effect.  By simply hearing some garbled dialogue and the soundtrack I jumped out of my seat more than the people who were actually watching the movie.  "Um, you okay over there Phil??"  The truth is, simply hearing the climax of the music made my entire body resonate with fear and took control of my ability to remain relaxed.  Watching scary movies to me is simply illogical, and I cannot do it.  The friend who knows me the best told me, "Phil, if you saw The Excorcist, you'd die.  You'd literally die."  I believe him.

The interesting point of the matter is that I think I am special in that I can never persuade myself out of being afraid during the movie by telling myself that it is only a movie.  I've tried that and it doesn't work.  But then again, isn't the only point of it all?  To believe that the movie is true?  If you watch a movie and realize that it's just made up, you aren't really experiencing the movie.  However, if you do accept the movie as true, and it's a scary movie, then you are scared.  Why would someone try to induce this end?  Why would someone see an awful, terrible, repulsive preview of a story that they would personally never want to experience, and then go to see the movie to enter into the state in which they think it's real and in turn become scared.  Why?!?  I don't understand! 

The problem with reading the dictionary is that there are too many characters and no plot development.

Never be brusque with strangers, for at the end of the day each person recalls their day in summation to think it good or bad, and the moment you enter their presence you become a part of their day.

Great ideas are often only great until they are tried. 

It's too cold for school tomorrow.  Take that global warming! 

Farewell everyone.