September 20, 2007
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I am thinking of customizing one of those stickers to put on the back of my car that asks, “How am I driving?” and then includes a telephone number. It will be nice to hear from fans and critics alike.
By the time he was in college, my dad was capable of growing a monstrous beard. He kept it for more than a decade. But I find myself unable to repeat the same feat, so I have thought up a solution: turn my face inside out. Since there are tons of little roots of hair that go beneath the surface of my skin, logically, if I turn my face inside out I will have a full-scale beard! And my face will be inside out! Double score!
My city’s school board really doesn’t understand the concept of problem solving. The problem that needs solving is overcrowded high schools: there are two high schools in the district, each with populations quickly surging into the two thousands. So what is the school board’s solution? To build a third high school. Avoiding the obvious time and cost dilemma is my solution: after the tardy bell rings each period, release a bear into the hallways on each floor. Tardy students will then occupy a “metaphorical” third high school. Plus, this will free up finances so that the schools can provide every student with a locker monkey. Locker monkeys will organize lockers, hand students books in-between classes, and boost morale. Now, that’s the way to solve a problem.
Well wishes to all of you!
Comments (7)
Your problem-solving skills are dizzying.
I remember telling a cashier she had a perfect witch’s laugh. I’m not sure she took it as a compliment. All this just goes to show some people solve problems differently then others.
ryc: Might work, actually. My family once attended a church where the pastor had gotten married when he was eighteen.
Wow…they’re just thinking about building a new high school after each school has hit 2k students? They should have been thinking about that when each school hit 1000. Bureaucrats! Peace.
I rarely say this but I do believe you have the gift of wit. Thanks for stopping by.
LOL…..you are hired for our district!!
hahaha That is hilarious. And, of course, there is nothing at all wrong with your plan. I’ve actually been saying the same thing for years, “hallway bears and locker monkeys!” but I’ve never actually seen it in action. Maybe someday. :p
This has got to be one of the most random posts I’ve ever read. The inside-out face idea was kinda icky, but the other two made me laugh out loud.
I wish I had a locker monkey…