October 13, 2007

• I think the guy who invented mapquest was bitter because someone once gave him wrong directions.  As it slowly dawned on him that the directions given him would not successfully lead him to where he wanted to go, the rage grew inside of him.  Enfuriated by every random turn he took next, knowing it was futile for him to find his destination now, he sped back to his home.  While recklessly driving home, an evil smile crept across the man’s face.  Upon arriving at his house he scurried inside and began desiging his masterful revenge plot.  Within weeks his website, mapquest.com, was up and running.  Not only would his friend who had given him faulty directions be duped into using his intentionally deceptive website that claimed to give accurate directions, but every other miserable soul as well!  His hatred ran so deep, was so inexorably malicious, that not a person less than everyone must pay for his suffering. 

  All of this is of course suggested by self-experience using mapquest; it truly seems to be the only possible explanation.  Why else would a seemingly legitimate website fail so many times in simply producing the quickest route to a destination?  It cannot simply be an error lying in the calculation program that is to blame for such innaccurate results; no, such consistency implies a deeper, human cause.  Only hatred and malice could concoct such an invention as mapquest. And I cannot escape the image whenever I am wandering down unfamiliar streets hopelessly in search of my destination using mapquest directions, someone, somewhere is laughing fiendishly in satisfaction that they have repaid the injustice brought upon them to millions of travelers across America.     

  Long live google maps! Everyone have a terrific day! 

  • 4:40 am
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