February 7, 2009
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Tell me what you think of this situation:
So let’s say you live with several other people, and per chance a large pile of silverware has built itself up in the sink. There are probably thirty spoons, twenty forks, twenty knives, and a few other kitchen utensils altogether.
Now, you’re in the kitchen in front of the sink, fully intent on washing all the silverware. You start with about ten spoons and then say, ‘Why am I only washing spoons?’ and thus move on to wash some forks as well. A bit later you have about eighteen spoons and five forks washed. At this point, a housemate says to you in a nonchalant voice, “Thanks for washing the spoons.”
No distinct tone. No other comment. Just that.
What I want to know is how you would react to this comment if you were the one washing the silverware. Put yourself in that position mentally and tell me what you would think.
This is possibly the most important survey you will ever respond to. Your participation is much appreciated.
Comments (15)
I’d probably just shrug and carry on.
I would probably correct them. I would definitely be tempted to say something about the fact no one else had washed anything.
Tell them in response, “well they’re MINE now.”
Interesting.
I’d certainly ask why they did not thank me for washing those five forks as well. Don’t forks count too? Do forks not matter anymore? Whats so special about the spoons anyway?
I’d have to know.
well WE ALL KNOW that Spooning leads to Forking.
@Saakara -
@BooksForMe -
@QuantumStorm -
@londonsgirl -
So I tried to explain the situation without hinting too strongly at what the disagreement was about in order to ensure the authenticity of the responses, but londonsgirl’s comment takes a stance on exactly what the ensuing dispute concerned.
The comment struck me as awkward. I did not know what was meant. In the context which I was assuming, that of washing all the silverware, I thought, ‘Why did he specify spoons?’ and thus I asked quizically, ‘What, you aren’t thankful for the forks?’ This opened quite a can of conversation.
My friend Saul argued that average human beings would understand that the obvious implication of his statement was that he meant he was thankful for all the silverware. His position was grounded strongly in the fact that thus far mostly spoons had been washed. But to me, even with that fact in mind, it still seemed arrantly awkward to single out the spoons. First of all, my intent was to wash all the silverware, which was a clear aspect of the situation. Secondly, I had washed some forks. Thirdly, there is no clear reason why the spoons would be specified when the person was indeed grateful for all the silverware to be washed, since it is just as easy to say that they are thankful for all the silverware.
So the question is whether it was such an obvious implication that Saul was actually thanking me for washing all the silverware. Saul claims most humans would understand this, and thus that I have a weird, nit-picky way of seeing the world. Things obviously seem quite different to me, since I am a person who holds the apparently unreasonable assumption that people mean exactly what they say, in the absence of reason to think they are implying more (such as through mannerisms or tone of voice). I know that is the way I try to talk. When possible, words and meaning should hold a 1:1 ratio.
Even if not totally indecipherable, his comment was at least sufficiently ambiguous to warrant prompting clarification. Saul thinks reasonable people would get what he was saying, and that I was just being pedantic.
And yes, my housemates and I have discussed this amongst ourselves and with others to a hilariously excessive degree.
@StrokeofThought -
You should rename yourself to “ComaofThought”. Stroke doesn’t cover it
You’re right, your friend is wrong. It makes no sense to thank someone for the spoons only, when they mean to thank you for washing all the silverware. I would have reacted exactly the same way you did.
Before reading your explanation, my thoughts were “Yeah, but look all the freakin’ work I have ahead of me. Thanks for what, at this point?!” because I hate washing dishes of any sort and tend to have a crabby attitude about it.
After reading your explanation, I think his response was pretty typical in that it was a somewhat lazy way of expressing thanks for something you know you should be grateful for without having enough conviction to really carry the sincerity. I think we all do that about everyday stuff. I’d say you both need to chill and find something better to discuss than references to silverware.
~V
@TheMarriedFreshman -
“I’d say you both need to chill and find something better to discuss than references to silverware.”
Best opinion on the matter yet. LOL.
I’m glad we were on the same wavelength. I wasn’t sure what sort of answer you were wanting from us.
I re-told the full scenario to my sister and she practically said the same thing that I did…….. after she realized that it was not a math problem I was handing her.
I would be willing to testify if you deemed it necessary.
Ciao.
I can see where you’re roomate is coming from, but I’m like you. I think people should say what they mean, and not assume others will get the implied meaning. ~ L
I would have washed the rest of the spoons and left everything else there
Oh, man!
I can so relate to this. I am the dishwasher in our house. The members of my family are too lazy to do it themselves or even help out. And because I’m the eldest daughter, it seems like it is my obligation to do the chores. At first, I really complained about it. I have a 20-year-old sister and she is the biggest lazy female on earth. She can’t even wash her own panties and other lingerie, she goes out at night looking like Paris Hilton to only God-knows-where, and she keeps on acting like she’s one hot mama with all her heavy make-up. That leaves me, the sweet/responsible/caring sister to do all the chores and it just comes to that point where no one offered to help me and I stopped complaining.
But sometimes I find myself annoyed.
I would probably say, “You´re welcome.” Eventhough they did not mention the other silverware that had been obviously washed. It is always a choice to guard your words and anticipate reactions. You have the choice to uplift or deflate someone by one response…i say you should choose the better, even if it means sacrificing your need for affirmation for the task you are performing.