February 11, 2010

• Swimming in strawberries

  Let's say you are counting your hands.  So you count your left hand first.  That means your other hand is the only one that's left.  But if your other hand is the only one that's left, then you actually don't have the first hand you counted.  And after you count your other hand (the only one that's left) there's nothing left to count, but if you have nothing left to count that means you actually have no hands.  Moral of the story: always start with counting your right hand.  (Person listening responds: "Right.") 
  
  When I am eating steak I pretend that the cow did something really bad in life, and that way there is some justice about the situation.  But then sometimes halfway through the meal I realize the cow was falsely convicted, and I become a vegetarian.

  "'Damsel' is a rather fitting word," I said as I had the thought.
  "Because it has 'Dam' in it?" she responded instantly.
  "Yes," I concurred, "Then the knight can express that he is frustrated at the same time he declares he is going to save the girl.  'What? Gloria is trapped in the alligator pit again? Damsel!'"

  Today I pulled up to a stoplight and glanced at the person next to me, and then I thought about how I always do that.  Why though?  It's just so mindless.  Stop.  Glance.  Look back. Green light.  Drive.  What's that all about?  I feel like I should have some sort of rationalization. "Ah, so there's a human driving that car too.  It's confirmed then.  Still no robots driving cars yet.  Maybe at the next light." 

  I have always wanted to live in a house-sized castle when I grow up, and this will actually work out quite well for my wedding, because then right after we put on the rings we can be crowned king and queen. 

  You know, it's a really good thing there are cell phones, because otherwise there would be no convenient way to ignore people who are sitting right in front of you.

  Have you ever been around someone who is laughing, and then when they finally stop laughing they say "That's funny"?  Sometimes I wonder if these people secretly think the people around them are aliens, and they are trying to explain what laughing means.  And then I start liking those people more, because that means they are trying to be helpful, and I like helpful people.

  Built a huge snowfort today, and then I had a huge snowfight with the little bro.  I would start in the fort and yell "I am Catan!!!" and he would roar from the field "Here come the barbians!" and then he would start a war cry and I would war cry back, and then we would start the battle. 

  (If you don't get it . . you should start playing some Settlers of Catan!)

  It was an epic day, and I will remember for a long time to come.  I hope you are all enjoying the snow too!  (Perhaps even by being happier to stay inside with some hot cocoa!) 

  Goodnight to all! 

  • 12:29 am
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