I fall in love with every girl I meet so that my wife and I will have an amazing story.
I want to get a signet ring, so then when cashiers ask me to sign receipts I can stamp it with my royal seal.
My self-esteem has been down lately; but don’t worry, I have a plan. I am going to get some dogs and name them Zeus, Ares, and Athena. Then I’ll be telling gods what to do, and they’ll obey like their lives depend on it. “Sit Zeus, sit!” “Ares, stay! NO, BAD GREEK GOD. BAD! That’s right. Wallow. You are terrible. Oh you look pathetic, come here.”
Then, take them to the park, find some pretty girls, and from there I will show them my unprecedented power.
Sometimes I like to ring people’s doorbells, and then when they come outside they see a sign on their porch that says ‘The witch is dead’.
With that he typed “LOL” onto the screen, then stormed off in a fit of rage and tears.
An unmarried woman with the last name of Ter would be called Miss Ter.
Whenever you think of the word farcical, just think of a fart musical.
The guys and I meet each week in our living room where there is a large couch facing the door. Because of this I think we should start staging interventions for the person who arrives last. And since they’re the last one there, the intervention should probably be about how they need to give up being late. “Chris, we are only saying this because we care about you. But you’re late again. The first step is admitting you have a problem.” “Uh . . this is the first time I’ve been late.” “And you’ll never get rid of it with that kind of attitude. We need to nip this in the bud. So seriously, it needs to end. You can beat this. We’ll help you in whatever way you need.”
Someday if I’m watching a movie with a group of people, and someone gets up to go to the bathroom at the beginning, I think we should skip the DVD ahead to the end. Then when they come back the credits will be rolling, and everyone will be up and stretching. “What a great movie,” people say as they start heading out. “Where were you, man? You missed an epic flick. Maybe go before next time?” “What’s going on, the movie just started.” ”Dude, maybe it didn’t seem like it, but you were in there for two hours. Yeah. We were all pretty surprised too.”
What a wonderful day it’s shaping up to be. Emperor’s New Groove party in the evening, and some hanging out with my little bro Paul and dad on the putt putt range.
They just got back from the Grand Canyon. In the words of Paul, ”There were countless stars that you couldn’t count.”
Everybody have a fun day! 
Comments (9)
That’s awesome with the dogs.
The Emperor’s New Groove is the best cartoon movie ever. “Yay I’m a llama again! Wait . . . “
I am going to have to try the movie thing. I hate when people leave five minutes into a movie.
Haha…love your thoughts.
Emperor’s New Groove party!!!! omgsh i bought a copy for $1.50 yesterday in Ecuador and I was so happy and I thought of you. =)
you, dear blogger, have a wonderful way with words.
“Miss Ter.” Love it.
Now open the door, and we’ll burn your house to the ground…
@BebstersBlog2 -
@Dominic_Ville -
@christin0 -
The other day I was at a party and I ran into a guy who asked, “Do we know each other?” and I responded with a quizzical look saying, “Yes, we do . . .” We then tried to figure out where we knew each other from with absolutely no success. Eventually I looked up at him from thinking and in the Kronkiest voices possible said, “Wrestled you in high school . .??? Or, oh . . Miss Narca’s interpretive dance, two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles.”
@StrokeofThought -
LOL HAHAHAHA!!!! beware the groove… the groo0o0ove!!!!
<3.
id name my dog philihp then blog infront of it while laughing haughtily, “Dumb dog you thought you could write clever blogs, ha!”
you certainly eat your kibbles-and-wits
Love ya man