September 2, 2010
-
Dodge this
If you marry someone, that of course means that they are The One. Because of that, to propose I’m going to offer my wife either the red pill or the blue pill. And I’ll say, “After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”
And of course, my wife will be really into fashion, even when I’m trying to talk to her. So there will be times when we’re walking through the city and I have to stop and say, ”Were you listening to me, dear? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?”
She also won’t like how during dinner time I play with my silverware, putting it on my nose and stuff like that. She’ll say it’s not a good influence on the kids. So she’ll tell me to take the spoon of my nose, but I’ll slowly turn to her and say, “There is no spoon.”
That will probably lead to our first fight, where I’ll say, “Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”
Finally it will all be too much, and we will have to separate. After a big fight I will explain to her how I can’t take it any longer by saying, “I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.”
Thus we separate, and it is all over. Then after that we wake up in our beds, and we’re in the fantasy land known as being single all over again.
Comments (12)
HEHEHEHEHE. Brilliant. If your last name is Anderson I give you +10 bonus points.
I never thought how AWESOME a wedding that opening line would make, rather than the traditional, “Do you take blah blah blah…”
“Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”
You into kink now!
@Guess who -
Well, that would be during a fight. Still pretty macabre, but not kinky.
What would be kinky is if I included this line:
Trinity: Neo… nobody has ever done this before.
Neo: That’s why it’s going to work.
*giggles*
@Ooglick -
LOL. . . that would be cool. But my family is Italian, so we be rockin’ it Mendola style.
This was magical!
That is quite… disturbing (the trinity/neo/consummation dialogue).
I should have said, it made me think of the line “Stop trying to kiss me and kiss me.”
Anyway, is one ever really not single? We’re always a part of ourselves (hopefully) and partaking in an intimate relationship with another (hopefully) even if it’s just mentally.
@Guess who -
Ohh . . well if the line were just “stop trying to kiss me and kiss me” that wouldn’t be kinky. That would just imply they were a bad kisser.
“Anyway, is one ever really not single?”
So I think you mean ‘Is one ever really single?’ And in the wide sense, of course we have a relationship with everyone, even if it’s just the relation of the distance between you. Thus, random person number fifty million in India and I have a very steady relationship.
But the sense of ‘single’ I was going for had to do with whether or not you were committed to sharing your deeper thoughts and emotions with someone else. Of course we can be single in that sense.
Hahaha. This is epic.
I hate this vulgar reality.
you miss the point of technique, desire… and rhetorical questions.
seeya later
I try to reccomend this but it wont let me! The first time I read this I tried it, wouldnt let me then. What the hell…