….Just kidding. Door’s right over there.
I think falling asleep in public is weird. The other day I fell asleep in a library and when I woke up hundreds of people were in my room.
Other people standing at crosswalks are so stupid: they don’t even know that when the walk light comes on it’s a race across the street. I win every time.
The sun was feeling distant from the earth so it used global warming to break the ice.
I interviewed to be a tow truck driver but they turned me down because I wasn’t evil enough.
If I ever write a book for the Introduction I am going to write ”Hello. My name is Philip. It’s nice to meet you.”
If you were parallel parking tightly between two police cars, it would probably be very scary. But then if you parked successfully, you would have the safest car on the street.
I like saying words that I don’t know how to spell because I feel like I am getting away with something.
If I were any kind of salesman I would want to be a carpet salesman, because then I would be able to justify talking so much since I would have the floor.
I hope all of you have a lovely Friday!
Comments (4)
Haha! These always make me laugh.
I will have to show this to my friend who always runs across crosswalks. I usually laugh because I’m like “They are not going to run you over! You can walk…” Now I know: He’s just winning every one of the crosswalk races! *shakes fist in air*
i love these as usual hahaha
my fave is the walk race ahaha
Great post!
I like the one about spelling.
I loved these, especially the parallel parking between two cop cars- wonderful. How do you think of these things?