March 7, 2011
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Words and being
You have to explain yourself, you know, as a conversational rule. You have to explain where you are, where you’re going, what you value, and tell people all about yourself. It’s horrible.
What if I don’t have a plan, and don’t want to have a plan?
I find some people can talk without giving themselves away. They never say anything.
How do some people say nothing? Somehow they just nod along, and you never expect for them to say more, because it never seemed like they expected themselves to say more. In that way some people hide, and everyone passes over right where they are hiding, and don’t see them.
Once you show yourself to have a certain kind of reasonability and way of thinking, people will always know you’re that person, and you’ll never be able to hide again.
Sometimes it’s safer to say less, because while you can take a whole life to build an accurate of image of yourself, you will never have enough lifetimes to get ride of an inaccurate one.
Images are indelible things. People hold everything I say against me.
But then, if you don’t talk, you can never be the person who had just the thing to say at that very moment in the conversation. What if we don’t know how to be who we want to be? Sometimes life shapes itself accidentally after our comments, in ways we don’t intend. It is really an illusion that we ever have control over how things turn out.
So should we talk or not? Thinking about it leads to a stalemate. People talk basically just when they feel like it, and not because they have things figured out.
It’s a good thing we have moods, or I’d be as mute as the moon.
Sometimes how we become a little holier is through a long chain of things in life, that happened after specific conversations and relationships happened with many different people. God is the only one who needs to have a plan.
Whenever we are in a relationship, we are actually in two relationships. God is alive in his creation, and interacts with you in everything you do.
Only one thing is for sure: telling a bedtime story is always the right decision. Goodnight!
Comments (4)
Sometimes how we become a little holier is through a long chain of things in life, that happened after specific conversations and relationships happened with many different people. God is the only one who needs to have a plan.
I love this. Exactly what I needed to hear. And so I thank you for speaking; even if it sometimes doesn’t have the outcomes you wish.
Btw your site won’t let me recommend you, but I recommend you anyway!!
(From Paul) Quick question… does not giving yourself away keep others from having an inaccurate picture of who you are? Not to be the epoch of controversy, but I say TALK!
(When applicable, I suppose.) Suppose I had not said the thing I said tonight simply because I didn’t want to give the wrong impression of who I was… well, I guess I wouldn’t comment.
You cannot control how others will look at you, regardless of your “plan” of action (to talk or not to talk). My plan is to follow where my conscience leads, whether that is talking or not talking. I see how not planning for the future may have people come down on you, but whatcha gonna do?
Goodnight!
Love,
Paul
@disarmingsimplicity -
A lot of the time I err on the side of talking to. Hence writing in here at all! But it comes down to the time and place. On the one hand, the less I say seems to leave less room for people making errors about what I wanted to say. But it also means they won’t find what’s true about me. So it seems like there’s a tension of values, and we live in the midst of the tension.
But you’re right, and I think most people I know would probably say I talk a lot. Then again, how can you tell how much someone doesn’t say?
It’s all a tricky business. In any case, thank you for sending a comment (talking!) my way!