July 23, 2011
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A whispery world
It is a summer night and I am up late, alone on a echoey and tranquil first floor. Some nights feel deep and I don’t know why that is. So the most I can do is sit and write, and hope that’s one of the things God gave us to make us better people.
Do you have secret voices? You know, voices that dictate certain things to you, and you never know about it until one day when you realized, hey, I’ve had this secret voice telling me to do things for a long time? Like a secret voice that tells you to feel gloomy and distant when this certain person is around, so that’s how you become?
While I was writing earlier I discovered a secret voice inside me that was saying, ‘Maybe I can follow God and still get away with doing the things in life I want to do anyways, and he won’t know anything about it’.
I think I have a whole host, a whole buzzing nest, of these secret voices inside me. They tell me to do foolish things, and the only way to realize that they’re there is to listen really closely. I should listen much more closely.
I also think facebook is taking over the world. It is appearing at the end of more and more commercials. It is supposed to be auxiliary and it is becoming prominent; its secret voice is becoming more and more deeply embedded in our brains. ‘Check me,’ it whispers, ‘I am what connects you to the world.’
Bad secret voice! BAD!
Deep nights in the summer, sitting here, glad that God gave me a brain, hoping I can kill my secret voices, glad tomorrow is a new day.
Comments (11)
Facebook is bad. It really has taken over the world. I have a lot of voices in my mind. I try and block them all out but the crazy ones usually pop up and in more often than any silent secret ones.
Yes. My subconscious is much smarter than I am, but I try not to listen because it also hates me.
Yes, not all those “voices” are mine. My sworn enemy, you-know-who, wants me to think that I’m acting in my own self interest (not that “self” interest is all that godly) but I am learning to listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice which always leads me away from wrong choices.
I enjoyed this post!
I have been reading your xanga for a good while now, since I had a xanga but shut it down (liferemainsbeautiful). There are so many wonderful things you say that I wish to quote but I always feel guilty to quote them because I don’t know your full name, and I’d feel silly quoting your whole xanga url every time.
Would you like to chat a little to become comfortable before I boldly ask to know your full name?
Great post to get us thinking… Listen to those voices… They can give you incredible insight and signals… And yes, facebook is having an incredible effect on interactions and reshaping relationships. It’s definitely big in the short run. What will it be like in 10 years?
@Martha -
Hello Martha.
Actually I don’t hide my last name for any particular reason. I know some people are very careful about their identity on the internet and put up ten foot electric fences with barbed wiring around every site they create. Not me. My last name is Mendola. Pleased to last-name meet you.
If you want to chat, you should IM me. I don’t know if there’s another way to chat, but if you are ever bored you should say hello.
In any case thanks for saying hi.
@StrokeofThought - Thank you, good sir.
When are you usually on? LAsym21 right?
Gah, Philip I love your writing so much! And I can never rec’ it!!!! WHY!?!
I’ve got my set of whispery voices. Some of them are mine. Some of them aren’t. I think if I could put my mind on speakerphone, the clamor would be unbearable. :
And I’ve managed to not be obsessed with Facebook.
~V
@Martha -
LAsym21 is right – as for a usual time . .. hmmm. In the summer there probably isn’t a regular time. I am something of a nocturnalist, so from 1 – 5 AM usually. But also in the evening (which is also, in other words, my afternoon). Normal people’s morning and afternoons are not likely.
@TheMarriedFreshman -
I love that you are such a Xangsta.
Some days Xanga feels like a small town like facebook never could. *sigh*
@StrokeofThought - I think it is rather unlikely then that our paths cross AIM-wise. It’s funny, you replied to my first comment at 4:14am, and I read it at 5:15 that day when I was getting up in the morning. I signed on to see if I could catch you, but I suppose you had already gone to sleep. I think email would be a better starting point. You can shoot me an email at martha.farag@gmail.com
There, now you know my last name as well. Neither of us has an unfair advantage.