October 17, 2011

• Someone needs to hit that girl ASLAP

  Marriage is a really long party. To propose I am going to get down on one knee and say “You’re invited!”  Then she will RSVP for the party starting at our wedding and ending never.  It would say ‘death’ but that’s a little bleak for a party invitation.

   

  I learned that our finger nails have a ‘nail bed’ and the ‘nail plate’ is the hard part on the nail bed. Makes me think the nail plates are sleeping and shhh we should be quiet not to wake them up.

   

  I like animals a lot more than I like animal rights activists.

   

  I never believed in Santa Claus so I never had to go through the pain of finding out he isn’t real.  But I did find out that koala bears are actually mean.  I’m guessing that’s about how it feels to find Santa doesn’t exist.

   

  Sometimes I see houses being transported on the highway but I don’t understand why they didn’t just build the house where they wanted it to be in the first place.

   

  I would like to be the driver in the car behind the house with the blinking lights and the oversize load sign.  Then I would feel very useful because without me people wouldn’t see the house and would run right into it.

   

  I’m up! And it’s a nice day outside. And I’ve just gotten a memo that it will NEVER BE A NICE DAY EVER AGAIN. So I’m going to go outside. Good’day folks!

  • 1:26 pm
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