November 16, 2011
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Accessibility
I have a theory that being busy is a function of being stressed. Sometimes when a person asks you to hang out with them but you say you can’t because you’re too busy, you actually just don’t want to because with how stressed you are it would be that much more stressful to add one more thing.
You’re only busy in your head. Your body has the time, your mind just doesn’t have the effort.
I want to move into an Age of Accessibility, where I’m not busy in my head, where I’m ready to connect with people fully when they talk to me. I’ve long held the view you should be intimate with everyone. You should let people know you. I think this really makes things go best.
When you are stressed all the time it is probably because you are working for something down the road. But when you are stressed about a thing like that, it eventually creates in you the feeling that something big in your life is going to happen. You feel like the result must be something huge, for all the stress it is causing. This makes a whole group of people who are waiting for something to happen in their life that will never happen. The big thing will never come, and they will feel bitter that they didn’t live their life in the past that they already had or in the future they had imagined that never came.
When I talk to people who are like this, people who have a whole platter of stressed items in their minds always with them, I feel like they are staring through me. For they aren’t looking at me, they’re looking at the life they want to have, the life they’re working for. It’s a horrible feeling. And it makes me think I don’t want to look through other people. I want to be accessible, I don’t want them to think there is some huge secret about me that I would never tell them because they aren’t good enough for it.
Mostly every situation could be made into something great, if people just believed in it. But most people don’t believe in the present moment. Their thoughts are in grief for the past, or hope for the future. But hope for the present and you will often be instantly rewarded.
Things are shifting, I can feel it inside me. I went through an Age of Simplicity and got rid of everything I don’t need. I am trying to grow without becoming that idea of an adult that scares me, a dispassionate tower high above everything that has only search lights to try to find other forms of life. And for right now that means being accessible, being ready to spend time with people, and not trying to orchestrate some future life that I may never live.
You can be too stressed. And maybe there are sometimes when you just need to let go, otherwise everything else will drown completely.
