January 31, 2013

  • Bodies are time machines

    Let me tell you about the most amazing person I know about.

    His name is Future Phil. 

    (No…not Phil of the Future. Different Phil.)

    Future Phil is awesome.  Future Phil does many extraordinary things, and he does them efficiently, in almost no time at all, and he does such a wide range of them.  Here are just a few.

    Future Phil reads books, starts them and finishes them in the same week, contemplates them and has no problem describing them later.  Future Phil never gets parking tickets or returns things late to the library.  He also keeps his car clean all the time, instead of having CDs and clothes and plates scattered all throughout it.  Future Phil doesn’t drink coffee late at night.  He cooks food that would make him sound awesome if he posted about it on facebook.  Future Phil doesn’t get irritated while he’s driving, ever.  Future Phil keeps his room clean and organized.  He rehabilitates his legs so that they are finally healthy.  Future Phil flosses.  He doesn’t get distracted while praying by his selfish darting thoughts. Also, he prays.  He catalogs everything he sees and does not drift idly by.  He talks to people he doesn’t know and doesn’t assume they will hate him.  Future Phil is a good friend who does things for people and doesn’t sink into hopes of great return.   

    Future Phil doesn’t screw up other people’s lives.   

    (Future Phil also gets a name change to Present Phil.) 

    Man. Future Phil sounds like such a great guy.

    I can’t wait to meet him.

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