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Ignorance disproves the facts

The problem with the border is that New Mexico sounds like a great place to go for a person who lives in plain ole' Mexico. They should rename it something like 'Border Patrol Land' or 'Get Caught' or 'Die.' Then they …
Blowing thoughts like bubbles

It is a good thing we have eyebrows, or else it would be very hard to tell when someone was confused. And that would probably lead to a lot of confusion . . . but no one would know about it. . .I recently started wonder…
Maybe these are the good ole days

If you are barefoot then you have taken your shoes off the exact amount of times that you have put them on. I like that because I like even numbers. But I don't like that because I don't like being barefoot. This mean…
It's a lovely day

I want to have a boat, or a ship or what have you, and name it Relation. Then pirates will attack it, and I will be in the captain's cabin yelling, "I want to get out of this Relation ship!" I would hate dating a fax m…
A mad tea party

I saw a flag that was at half-mast, so I asked someone who had died. They said no one had died, they had just ordered a flagpole that was too tall. I understand now—that is a tragedy indeed.Why would someone have windo…
Why not just be friendly with strangers

"It is so unrealistic how the bad guys always miss the good guy in movies." "It's totally realistic. If the bad guys had killed the good guy in the middle of the plot, they would have never made a movie about it."The am…
An Inexcusable Digression

Traveler's along life's way, strangers on the planet, lovers from afar . . . welcome.It is nice to drive to classical music, and for the cars and lights to all flow in harmony with the music. But do not listen to Beetho…
Get on a horse and the world becomes a carousel

Yesterday I was walking pretty fast accross the street, and I passed this girl, and I couldn't help but . . . sniff sniff . . . "Is she—is she wearing gasoline perfume?!" My neck has been really stiff because of how I'v…
It is fun to be a mind

If I were president, the first thing I would do is redraw all the state boundaries so that America looks like a puzzle that was successfully put together.I hate when I dream in a foreign language and the subtitles don't …
Is it just me, or are there other people?

It is a good thing to sing all the time, because then the transcript of your life will seem like a musical.If only people with photographic memories could get their minds developed. Today I rediscovered that my bad memo…