March 10, 2007

• I certainly do lend out my credulity arbitrarily, even when it is important that I not do so.  The main instance I am thinking of here is with soap.  What if soap is just one big hoax?  In fact, it almost appears as if soap was designed to be a scam.  Think about it.  When science started discovering germs and bacteria, the government probably predicted widespread panic and despair by the public because of the nature of such pervasive and irresistable enemies.  With society in a state of perpetual fear, eventually all of the world’s interworkings would grind to a halt.  The government needed a solution to this problem, and came up with the perfect remedy.  They made up this thing called “soap.” 

  Today, in modern bathrooms, the appearance of soap is nothing less than suspicious: colorful slime in a box.  How it supposedly works makes me even more incredulous.  In the bathroom I rinse my hands and then push a lever to get a gooey slab of this substance known as “soap” because somehow, when mixed with water and briefly smeared all over my hands, it magically destroys all the infintesimal attackers on my hands known as germs.  Pretty convenient, eh?   In spite of this, I have staked much of my hope on soap.

  Soap’s main purpose is to wonderfully save me from potential diseases.  But beyond that, soap has freed me from fear, from gross considerations, and from mental domination by the unseen force called “germs.”  From this perspective, it seems soap is based on nothing but pure faith.  Supposedly somewhere out there is a group of scientists with powerful instruments called microscopes that have verfied the validity of soap’s magical ability to seek and destroy germs in the few moments it is in contact with the hands.  This story was quite plausiby created to secure the public’s credence in soap’s proven cabalilities.  However, what if no scientist actually conducted this work, and every single scientist only assumed that some other scientist must have done the work? 

  Fortunately for the scammers, this project has worked beautifully.  People still get sick, things are still dirty, germs still abound on our hands, but people no longer seem to care because ”soap kills germs!”  If things still go wrong, it is not because of germs.  The public has complete confidence in soap’s ability.  Even if germs still abound, soap makes people think germs have been conquered.  Soap works as the ultimate source of hope and freedom in life from the invisible agents that are called germs.  It is the placebo that has satisfied everyone.  As the current system works, I almost see soap as a religion.  You must believe that the soap somehow cleanses your hands, because you cannot actually see the germs dying.  It’s gooey and it looks nice; I’ll bet it could kill a few germs.  Also like religion, people might say they know soap kills germs because it says so on the bottle.  This is like a person saying that God wrote the Bible because it says so in the Bible. 

  However, I will continue to wash my hands, not only because what most I have said is a product of my imagination, but because only about 20% of males actually wash their hands.  This way, I will be a “rare find” for the girl I marry. 

  Besides, we all know deep down that soap really works.

  …doesn’t it?

  • 12:55 am
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