August 30, 2007
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My journey to the top of professional cuisine criticism has officially begun. As a blooming young star in the tasting business, it is only natural that my talents would be pursued at such a young age. And with no further delay I am pleased to announce my career as a food critic has begun at the very peak of high-class dining: Wendy’s.
That’s right, you are looking at (the weblog of) the newly hired and most promising taste-test correspondent in the Wendy’s corporation. One fine night last week they simply decided they couldn’t wait any longer, and called me up to bring me in to privilege themselves to my opinions on their latest cheeseburger developments.
Well, technically, perhaps, it was only a one-time stint. And maybe there were thirty other hired taste tasters in my shift alone, but hey, just wait until they read my comments on their super value double cheeseburger and they’ll be offering contracts to each of my taste buds individually.
It was quite the experience really. They sat me down in an all white room at a desk that was enclosed like a voting booth. After I clicked the “OK” button on the computer, the mini closet dividing my room from the kitchen opened suddenly and a latex-gloved hand quickly placed a Wendy’s cheeseburger in front of me, and shot back and closed the mini closet after it. About eight to ten bites and forty-three questions later, my opinions were safely locked in the Wendy’s Innovation Center archives for review by Wendy’s officials.
I hope they are not disappointed with my dismal review of their sandwich. Honestly, I was glad to have eaten it, but I think that had something to do with the sandwich not only being free, but the fact I was being paid $25 to simply tell them their sandwich was only O.K. But I did not simply exude inconfidence in the product, for as I explained, the melange of taste could be balanced to perfection by merely adding some bacon, easing the mustard some, and cooking the meet a trifle more. I expect to see the sandwich with these revisions in Wendy’s restaurants soon.
Truly it was a delightful experience, mostly because the room made me feel like I was in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. But I’m sure the free grub and cash helped too.
Comments (8)
You didn’t need such a wonderful story. You won me over with Calvin And Hobbes in your background.
Taste testing huh? Sounds interesting to say the least.
You said “melange”. That made my nose twitch for some reason.
Sounds so surreal…..
Most of the fast food places have declined in their product offering quality over the past 10 years, in my opinion.
I wish I could get a gig working with a few of them to improve things.
But I suspect the primary reason isn’t qualified comments, but financial pressures and regulations.
I’m pretty certain, though, that the companies with poor financial outlooks are not going to improve that situation by producing marginal new products.
Hey, thanks for the comment. It was both interesting and fun to read. ; )
I see what you mean about the fact that most people flip through the Net faster than even they can keep up with. I suppose that’s the major factor behind my lack of viewers. I think I just get annoyed at my lack of comments because I tend to keep up with other people’s xangas and comment on just about every post. (Meaning, I comment about the post, and not just to ask, “So how are you?”) It’s that, used-friend, sort of feeling.
I like the quote you said, about how it’s better to have a self and no public, than a public and no self. That’s true. And I think I will continue writing large posts. Because I really do enjoy to write about my day; and if I really think about it, just getting all of those words out of me feels better than getting lots of comments. I just have to remember that now. ; )
Wow, your taste-testing experience sounds really…elaborate. lol In your place, I think I would have felt very funny, and probably cracked up laughing, when they gave me the burger through the little mini-closet thing. : p It sounds like they treat this kind of stuff very carefully. *whispers, “Remember! Don’t let the tester see the cook’s face! Slide the burger in, then get that hand out of there.”*
Hm…I wouldn’t realy mind being paid to eat either. lol
*~*Laura*~*
D00d! I want to get a job at Wendy’s, I wonder if we can apply as official taste testers. I’ll drop out of college right now and we can both make a living off of taste testing foods for various restaurants.
Captain Drew
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Dude, you have to tell them to bring back the Basil Pesto Frescata, that sandwhich was bomb.
I don’t eat fast foor.