November 12, 2008

• Logic: The Past Few Days in Review

  On Saturday I sped home from Cincinnati to try to get to a play on time, but I still arrived late to the play.  Apparently, however, you only have to pay to see the first twenty minutes of the play.  The rest of the play, as I found out, is free. 

  Sunday I was late for a mock trial scrimmage, but once I got there, I realized I didn’t know where ‘there’ was.  I looked all over but couldn’t find it.  I ran into a church in one of the buildings I was searching in, so I went to church instead.  God is clearly telling me to rearrange my priorities: free coffee and bagels is much more important than mock trial.

  Debate team met Sunday afternoon and the coach asked me if I wanted to do a speaking event.  I asked if I could do the speaking event called impromptu.  He asked if I had ever done it before, or if I knew the rules.  I said no to both, but I could just show up and wing it.  That way it would be doubly impromptu.

  We met again Monday night to discuss the weekend tournament.  One of the team members has a mansion near the tournament, so we’re all staying there, but with all the people he said showers might be a problem.  No problem, I said to everyone, just take an extra long shower on Friday morning.  Longer showers cover more days.

  Tuesday afternoon I picked up my little brother from school.  “Where are we going?” he asks.  “To kroger, to pick up things for tea today.” “Oh, we’re going to your tea party so-called…Mom told me what so-called means…it means when you call something a word, but it isn’t really that word.” 
  
  Later I stared out the window as a squirrel furiously buried an acorn for about five minutes.  Squirrels must think themselves super-heroes, I think.  Always climbing up trees, dashing into the bushes, freezing when they’ve been spotted—all while trying to accomplish their eternal mission of gathering acorns for their families.  I’ll bet while they hop robotically around the place they have theme songs playing in their heads.

  Then we had the “so-called” tea party.  I had already been drinking tea all day, and all in all had no less than twelve cups of tea.  My teeth are probably going to turn very yellow, but that’s alright because everyone in England drinks lots of tea and they have yellow teeth and they all have accents, so at least now I will get a really cool accent.  And I have an extremely scientific mind, so I definitely wouldn’t have gone for it if England hadn’t been there as proof.

  Tuesday night while walking to debate club I thought, it’s getting cold I will need to get a hat sometime soon.  Then directly on my path to debate club there is a swell hat lying right there on the ground.  To be honest, I don’t really know what that has to do with logic.  Maybe if I would have thought when I found it, “Sweet, completely free!  Now I can sell this to buy a hat.” 

  Last night four of us guys watched three rats and a hamster run around their cage, enormously entertained by how stupid they are.  It was quite an ironic situation.  Eventually I say, “When I am old and rich and decadent, I am going to get a bunch of rats and one of those Nazi lugers, and then shoot the rats from my king-size bed.” “Who will clean them up?” Kevin asks.  “My maid. Who is also my wife,” I say in line with my invented character. ”Won’t you have multiple wives?” asks Kevin.  “Kevin,” I say seriously with my brow furrowed, “polygamy is wrong.”

  Oh, how much my love for life and logic. 

  • 5:00 pm
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