January 13, 2011
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Taste the rainbow
People don’t sympathize with squirrels enough. Just imagine that you lived in a world where two thousand pound squirrels were constantly running all over the place at sixty miles per hour. (After they had destroyed your home so that they could run all over in the first place.) You want to go over to your friend Suzy’s house, but then – SPLAT! – two thousand squirrel out of nowhere.
Most people suspect squirrels of being nuisances on purpose. I think they are just misunderstood.
Some people deserve to be misunderstood though. Recently I met a girl who cannot eat foods that are primary colors. She said when she was growing up she would never eat anything given to her that had a color on it.
See, squirrels just want to live and frolic around and bury food for later. But to not eat certain colors is kind of missing the point of eating. You can’t make fashion statements inside your body.
There is a big problem I am coming to in my life concerning sponges. Sometimes I will need a fork, but there are no clean forks available. Standard procedure so far in my life has been to squirt some dish soap on a fork, scrub it with a sponge, and then dry and use it for eating whatever food I’m making.
Here is the problem. I don’t care how much soap you smother the fork with. There are some sponges that simply have too much food crusted on, too many menacing and extravagant colors swirling on them, too much a feeling of having been bought in ancient times, to be believed to actually clean anything. Here, colors actually do matter.
And most of the time only a dirty sponge is available. So what am I supposed to do? Eat spaghetti with a spoon? Of course, with almost any clothing, that’s suicide. A different kind of SPLAT! happens here and there goes your t-shirt. Again, here is an instance where colors matter.
We think lots of crazy things. Sometimes we think just because something touched a trash bag (perhaps a brand new one) that it’s now ‘trash’, and therefore automatically dirty. Sometimes we think just because sponges are meant for cleaning things, they are automatically clean. We are fools with cartoon minds using plastic scissors to navigate the world.
If you get nothing else out of this, which is probable, take this away: be wary of thy sponges.
So thee long.
Comments (4)
I always squirt soap on the fork and then rub it around with my fingers.
Agh, I have that same problem with sponges! I also hate the used-sponge smell. Eew. I also have a problem with baths. I mean, aren’t you just soaking in dirty water at that point?
Honestly, I just squirt dish soap on the fork itself and scrub it with my fingers until it’s clean. That works just as well as a sponge, and I KNOW my hands are clean. Hmph.
@randaness -
@Ooglick -
Nooooo! Hands are dirty!! That’s why the inside of a bowling ball is the dirtiest place in the world!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I only take baths when I’m already clean. That’s a good point.
Well, well…what if you wash your hands before washing the fork? I mean, you’ll be getting soap on your hands anyway, so they’ll in theory be clean, right?