February 7, 2011
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Brunch is the key to life
The most intimate encounter you can have with someone is them lying on their kitchen floor, in their pajamas, wrapped in a soft thin blanket making squirrel noises as they open the fridge murmuring, ’Oooooo me so hungyyy’. This is the essence of sharing life together; how could one conceivably become closer to someone after that? Indeed, I have never stopped being good friends with someone after that moment in the friendship. I encourage you to try to have that moment, and then unbecome friends. It’s not possible.
The idea of police officers is such a negative one. They go around looking for problems. It’s a very glass half-empty kind of idea. To counteract the negative effect of police officers, I think we should have reverse police officers who drive around trying to notice people being good citizens. If they notice you merging to let someone onto the highway, they will pull you over and give you a reward. They see you picking up litter, you will be awarded a $20 gift card to Best Buy. And so on. It will be just like real Community Chest cards. I think this would make the world a much better place.
If I were a judge I would probably daydream a lot. And then I would snicker to myself about what I was thinking just when key testimony came out in the case, and it would seem very inappropriate and awkward, and I would come to, and try to look serious and make everyone think I hadn’t really laughed.
When I watch movies I like to think of all the movies as one story, and so each person is really the same person as they were in all the other movies, but this is just a different part of their life. So Matt Damon was saved from being killed by Tom Hanks in World War II, and then he went on to rob casinos with Brad Pitt. After that he decided to sign up to become a hit man for the government program Treadstone, but he got amnesia in the Mediterranean Sea and had to run from Treadstone all over the world while trying to find his identity. Wow. What a life. I think he definitely ‘earned it’, Tom Hanks.
So Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t really die at the end of Titanic. He just entered another dream state.
Remember that it’s crazy there are any human beings at all. I’m off to see what adventures the evening has planned. Farewell, explorers!
Comments (5)
I would vote for you as president.
I like your view on actors in movies because I do the same thing. Especially if the actor is in a bunch of similar movies with similar roles. Or even Julia Roberts who died from diabetes and then came back as a hooker who fell in love with a rich man and then got involved with robbing casinos but had a mid-life crisis and traveled the world eating, praying, and loving James Franco. I wonder if there’s a website that pieces together all actor’s movies. I’ll look that up right now.
rounders is a good movie
Haha, this post is amazing.
Reverse police officers would be the best thing ever.
hahahaha! two thumbs up to your second paragraph. screw the cops man. most of the time when they find trouble, it’s some petty act, while somewhere else someone is being raped/robbed/burned alive.
and i’ve pieced together the matrix, star wars and terminator. first, was terminator, the singularity… uh oh sky net is self-aware! boom. judgment day. the robots take over and start farming humans, plugging them into a false world called the matrix. neo starts learning about the force by the end of the 2nd (or was it 3rd) movie. boom! a jedi was born. star wars is as they say, history.