February 27, 2012
-
A farewell
Historians are the people who realize
that the present is the loneliest place of all.
When your grandparents are alive,
the night sky is a huge blanket
wrapped around your warm body at night.
Tonight for the first time I looked up and saw
how thin, how empty, how full of echoes it is.
And I felt terribly alone.
But what of the grand project of history?
Dig deeper for their graves: you will find them nowhere.
The present is interminably alone with itself;
the lone frightful survivor of all its deceased cousins.
Flee, flee the feeling that you have inherited the world,
and make friends of the dead, for the dead
converse more readily than any other.
And what a wonderful banquet was history:
Everyone was connected in the past, for it is easier
to imagine actions, communion, stories,
than people sitting alone for long hours on end.
But once all your parents and friends are dead,
you will see what history never told you.
The present is the loneliest place of all.
Comments (4)
*thinks* But there is always more future to be turned into present, and some presents are better than others. It’s just that usually when one is in the middle of a good present they don’t stop to say to themselves “I’m having a wonderful time!” They say it afterward.
I hope you are doing alright. *hug*
@Ooglick -
Thanks, ooglick.
I am doing ok…. my last grandparent just died on Sunday. :-/ I had an overwhelming feeling about it at night. I’m not even really sad yet… the funeral is this weekend. But something about it hit me really hard.
Do you know what I’m talking about? Anyways, thanks for the virtual hug.
I hope your grandparents had lots of wonderful and interesting things happen in their lives. *hug* Tell stories about the times you had with them at the funeral. You’re really good at stories.
I know it will be sad for you and your family though. 
Oh.
All of my grandparents have changed clothes for heaven also. (That’s how I think of it.)
The missing of grandparents is unique, and never really leaves. Sometimes missing them hits especially hard, out of the blue. The last grandparent is the hardest to lose, because the grandparent presence in your life leaves.
I’m sorry Philip.