August 20, 2007

• Does it not seem like fights are the climax of stupidity?  Here, at least, is what would make it seem that way: whenever a palpable tension exists between two people who obviously want to fight, they begin asking the dumbest questions possible.  

  First imagine a typical ruffian; enormous girth, rugged looking, with a low, gruff voice.  Now consider the standard pre-fight inquiries: 

  “Who you lookin’ at? You lookin’ at me?!” 
  “You talkin’ to me?”  
  “Hey buddy, you got a problem?” 
  “You wanna go?!” 
  “You think you can take me?!”

  Judging from the intellectual value of such a slew of questions we can draw the conclusion that either the ruffian endorses a philosphical worldview of radical skepticism, or “strong wit” did not make it on to the day’s priority list.  Regardless, it is quite clear that most five year olds could score a perfect on this impromptu streetfight quiz.  Every answer is a dubious, “Um, yes…?” 

  Thus, while through their ingenious interrogations the two parties verify the nature of the situation (“Oh yeah? And what’s your problem?” “You’re my problem!” “YEAH?”), the pair of irritated thugs quickly and systematically empty the situation of any and all intellectual value, until suddenly, and finally, both their IQ’s hit zero, and the fight begins. 

  And with that we see that Yoda was wrong. 

  [Yoda voice] Anger leads to stupidity.  Stupidity leads to suffering. [/Yoda voice]

  Have a great night, everyone! 

  • 6:45 pm
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